


Serendipty

by parkjaebeomie (Rafee)



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2Jae, Im Jaebum | JB-Centric, Kid Fic, M/M, Soft Im Jaebum | JB, dad jaebum, kid yugyeom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 12:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20114935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rafee/pseuds/parkjaebeomie
Summary: Jaebeom was twenty-five years old when he adopts twelve years old Yugyeom and their lives changes forever. Because family is where our heart is.





	Serendipty

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Serendipity](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/504337) by ShiroKohta (ParkJaebeomie). 

> English isn't my first language so I apologize.

Jaebeom was in the middle of a recording when he got the call. When the phone vibrated in his pocket he thought about ignoring it, they were almost completing the five-day marathon in the studio recording the comeback of the new group of the company, but whoever was calling was insistent. At that moment, for a few seconds, he wished he hadn’t answered the phone. He didn’t remember much of the call, except that his stepmother had died and that he needed to go make decisions about the funeral and the boy. _The boy_. Jaebeom didn’t even knew him right, he knew he had a younger brother, but he had never seen him except for a photo and now he was taking responsibility for the boy. He was 11 when his father remarried after his divorce with his mother. He didn’t have much contact with him – they were not even close when his parents were married – he remembered going to the wedding ceremony and party and visiting him in some holidays until he grew older and didn’t want to go anymore. When the old man died he was eighteen. Jaebeom went with his mother only to the funeral and remembered seeing a four-year-old little boy with fluffy hair sitting on his stepmother's lap, but he didn’t speak to her or paid attention to them. He did not feel part of that family, the life that his father had created in another house didn’t belong to him, his family was his mother and his friends.  


But now he was there, with a family he never thought he would have.

“Those are the options, Mr. Lim. You sign the adoption papers and become legally responsible for the child or give him up and we will direct him to a foster home and adoption queue, but he is already old, in that age is difficult to find adoptive parents.”

The social worker sitting in front of him spoke without a trace of emotion in her voice. Jaebeom nodded biting his lower lip out of pure nervousness, he knew the options, he had talked with his mother and she had said that any decision he made she would support him. But he had no idea what to do, he was only twenty-five, caring for a child or not shouldn’t be the kind of decision he should make at that age. 

“He has no other family on his mother's side? If I remember right, JiAe has a younger sister.” He murmured. The clock on the wall behind the woman said it was three o'clock in the afternoon, they had been there for half an hour, and he just wanted to leave. Even though he'd never done anything wrong in his life except smoking a marijuana cigarette in college, Jaebeom hated police buildings, hospitals, or whatever.

“Unfortunately not, Mrs. JiAe's sister, Miss Kim Jieun, testified that she is unable to care for the child. You're his only family.”

_The child._ The boy had a name, why was it so hard to call him that? Though he himself had not yet said it out loud. Jaebeom took a deep breath, the decision he would take there would change his life forever, in the short time before giving the answer he assessed his whole life and found that he was not ready to be responsible for someone else.

Jaebeom left the room with the provisional custody document in hand that said he was legally responsible for Lim Yugyeom. He found the boy sitting in one of the plastic chairs at the front desk. Lowhead staring intently at the chuck taylors who had once been white, he did not look nothing like him, but the boy looked exactly like his father.

“Hey, kiddo, let's go.” He said, standing in front of him and Yugyeom just stared at him with wide eyes beneath his fringe.

“To where?” That was the first time he had heard the youngest voice in the two days he had been in his presence.

“Home.”

And without waiting for an answer, Jaebeom started to walk away from that building, not even looking back to see if he was being followed, but the noise of the kid’s shoes against the linoleum floor told him he was.

“ I'm not going to an orphanage?” Yugyeom asked, pulling him to a stop at the entrance to the juvenile court building. Jaebeom stared at him for a few seconds, he was tall, almost his height, it wouldn’t take long to pass him up, and anyone looking from the outside wouldn’t give him twelve, he was also chubby and Jaebeom could bet his full cheeks were his charm when he smiled.

“No, why would you?”

Jaebeom said and the boy just shrugged, staring at the ground, Jaebeom also didn’t wait for him to come up with an answer and walked back to his car, he just wanted to get out of that town.

~세렌디피티~

“How were things?” Jinyoung asked, sitting beside him on the couch, their feet on the glass table in front of them, a glass of wine in his hand. It would be like any other day that his best friend would come to his house to chat, if it were not for the other pair of shoes at the entrance, the PlayStation connected to his television, bike, toys and clothes that were not his around the house indicating that there was a child.

“The house is for sale, the money we get from it I will save for his future, I'll enroll him in a school, the same elementary school we studied, remember? And I made an appointment with a psychologist for him for next Monday.”

He sighed taking a sip of his drink.

“And you talked?”

“No. That’s why I made an appointment with a psychologist.”

“You have to talk hyung, he's your brother and you're all he has now.” Jaebeom grimaced. How could he talk to the boy when they had no intimacy, what could he say? _“Sorry, kid, but you're going to have to live till you old enough with a brother you've never seen in your life, a stranger”._ He would never! “Honestly, how's it going?”

“Well I think. It's strange to have someone else in the house, but he's quiet, sometimes I even forget he's there. And ... Did I make the right decision, Jinyoungie? I don’t know how to do this ... Taking care of someone is not the same as taking care of my cats.”

“Certainly it is not. But I think it was the best decision you could make, you are family, and hyung, you’re not alone. You have me, your mother, my mother. We're here to help you.”

“Are you staying for dinner?”

Jaebeom asked and Jinyoung smiled at the prospect of not having to buy something to eat on the way back home.

“You will cook?”

“Sure.”

He smiled wider getting up from the couch and Jaebeom did the same with the intention of going into the kitchen.

“Great! But first, introduce me to your brother.”

~세렌디피티~

Jaebeom never thought much about his father. The man was a figure he had never truly missed in his life, his mother was his everything. But when the old man died, he felt sorry for not insisting on being part of the life of the older Lim, for not giving his father a third chance. And looking at Yugyeom, which was practically the exact copy of his father, reminded him of those moments. It also made him think that perhaps it would have been better to have been part of the boy's life.

~세렌디피티~

Yugyeom didn’t complain when Jaebeom told him that he would have an appointment with a psychologist twice a week, nor did he say anything when the eldest showed him a list of rules and tasks that both of them should do for good living together. In fact, he didn’t say anything at all, he stayed only in his room when Jaebeom was at home, and only left there at mealtime. But at least he did things, like doing the dishes and changing the sand of the cats and by talking about cats the kittens had abandoned him choosing to spend most of the time inside of the kid's bedroom. He knew that this kind of relationship was not healthy, the classes would start and his work would require him to stay in the studio longer, he needed to talk to Yugyeom, but that was the whole problem, Jaebeom had never been good at talking.

_"Honey, you just have to talk to him."_

“I know mom, but it's hard. How do you talk to a teenager?”

His mother on the other end of the line laughed, telling him that she had been in the same boat once. Jaebeom rolled his eyes, taking advantage that she couldn’t see, he hadn’t been a good teenager, but at least they had talked over a little, he had Jinyoung, and he didn’t even knew if Yugyeom had friends.

_"Look for something he likes, you're going to work, right? Take him there, show your songs, you'll do well and don’t forget, on Sunday I want the two here in my house"_

“Thank you mom.”

_"I love you, Jaebeom-ah, it's going to be all right”_

Jaebeom then decided to follow his mother's advice and went to the kid's room. He knocked on the door, but received no answer and unceremoniously entered the room, going straight to the window to open the curtains and thus let the sun illuminate the environment. Yugyeom was lying on the bed, with his headphones on, his phone under his pillow, and the laptop on the desk that Jaebeom had bought for him displaying some weird game. He had clothes all over the floor and one of his bags hadn’t been undone yet. Odd slept in the swivel chair in front of his desk.

“Yugyeom,” Jaebeom called, tapping lightly on the boy's shoulder, who opened his sleepy eyes. “I'm going to work, I wanted to know if you want to go with me.”

For a moment he waited for the boy to deny it, but Yugyeom nodded and sat on the bed looking a little lost.

“Okay, so get ready to leave in half an hour.”

Yugyeom seemed more awake in the car, especially after Jaebeom told him that he worked at JYP and he let out that he was a fan of Mark and Jackson.

“They are my friends, you know?” Jaebeom didn’t miss the opportunity to say tearing an exclamation of his brother that made him laugh.

“You're kidding!”

“Seriously, I might introduce you to them.”

Jaebeom liked the way his brother looked at him, as if he was the most interesting thing on the planet and not his big brother he barely knew. However, Yugyeom didn’t got more excited than that, he could see in the corner of his eye he restless in his seat, crazy to ask questions, but without courage. And the elder didn‘t instigate him to speak, small conversations weren’t his thing, never were. He remembered how he had become friends with Jinyoung, it had been all thanks to Jinyoung perseverance and patience to deal with his silence, Jaebeom had always been too shy.

“Jaebeom-ah!!” The scream made Jaebeom cringe and Yugyeom hid behind his back, frightened eyes. “You owe me a drink, I didn’t forget. “Jackson Wang said standing before him grinning from ear to ear and grew even larger as he noticed the boy hiding behind Jaebeom. “Oh! you must be the little brother!! Yugyeom, right?”

Jaebeom turned to face his brother who looked in shock.

“I 'm Jackson.”

Yugyeom turned to look at Jaebeom as if he wasn’ t believing that the famous Jackson Wang was talking to them.

“Shouldn’t you be preparing for your comeback?”

Jaebeom asked.

“I am, already recorded all the songs, we are now practicing the choreographies. Hey Yugyeom, do you want to meet some cool guys? Staying glued to your brother will be a pain in the ass he doesn’t leave the studio for nothing.”

“Yah!” Jaebeom pretended that he was going to slap his friend, but he ended up laughing. Yugyeom stared at him with hopeful eyes. “Go on.” He said to the younger who smiled.

“We'll be in the practice room, see you later Jaebeom-ah!”

“Hyung jackson! Hyung!”

Jackson didn’t even look back, dragging the younger Lim by the arm towards the elevators.

It was long past lunchtime, and Jaebeom would usually eat a sandwich and continue to work, but the responsible part of his brain reminded him that he hadn’t gone to work alone and that it shouldn’t be healthy for a growing boy to stay without eat on time. He left the studio towards the practice rooms. Even with the door closed he could hear the loud thud of a hip hop and the excited female and male screams. Without hesitation he opened the door hoping to find Jackson and his crew rehearsing for the Chinese comeback, but ended up having the surprise of finding his younger brother dancing in front of the mirror while the others watched. Yugyeom had talent, his body moved fluidly following every minimal sound, punctuating every single beat with precision, Jaebeom entered the room and closed the door behind him and with a smile on his face watched the younger Lim look happy, that was the first time he saw him smiling and it was so beautiful, made him look like the child he was supposed to be and not the boy with a depressed aura that he looked like it.

When the music came to an end and the dancers greeted the boy, he realized that he should have so many things he didn’t know about Yugyeom and he was being an idiot for not to seek out because he was afraid to start a simple conversation with him.

“Jaebeomie!!! Did you see it?” Jackson asked approaching him and putting an arm around his shoulders “He is incredible! You should let him do an audition.”

Jaebeon didn’t answer, looking at his brother, who noticed his presence and went back to his contained version, head down, facing his shoes. He approached him, his black hair dripping with sweat and when he got close enough Jaebeom caught himself running his hand through his hair to get it out of his face surprising them both.

“You danced well.”

“Well? It was great! You really should let him audition.”

Jackson said before running off to meet someone who called him leaving the brothers alone.

“Did you eat?” Jaebeom asked opening the door of the room and leaving the kid following him.

“The hyungs gave me a snack.”

“Are you hungry?”

Yugyeom shook his head, confirming, and Jaebeon grabbed him by the shoulder towards the elevators.

“So let's go.”

The company's restaurant had very few people, it was past the busiest time and the staff had already returned to their stations. Jaebeon gave the boy his debit card and let him order it. He chose to sit at a table by a window where he could see the busy boulevard and some girls sitting on the sidewalk with their posters and cameras set in the hope of glimpsing their favorite idol. Yugyeom came back with their orders, he waited for him to eat so he could speak, again measuring his words and struggling, the two couldn’t live in silence forever, after all.

“Do you want to be an idol?” Yugyeom shrugged as if he really didn’t know what to answer.

“I just like to dance. “He whispered softly, his eyes still low, not daring to face Jaebeom as he looked at him. “Jackson told me that you make songs, that his last single was you.”

He completed even lower, and Jaebeom found himself wondering if at any point in his life he had ever been extroverted, if there had been any noise, because it was not possible for anyone to be so contained.

“I do, do you want to listen?” Jaebeom asked and the boy nodded, so he took an ipod from his pocket and passed it to the youngest with the headphones plugged in and the folder that contained some of his compositions.

Jaebeom was nervous, the kind of nervous that he was when JYP himself came to the studio or called him in his office to evaluate his songs. Yugyeom made no reaction for a while and then he smiled, the same kind of smile he had given when he was dancing and Jaebeom found himself smiling too.

“So? did you like it?”

He nodded excitedly with wide eyes and he looked happy.

“Can I hear them, like ever?”

He asked with his eyes sparkling and Jaebeom found it hard to say no, and he knew that if he ever made that face asking for something he was screwed because he would definitely say yes.

“I will pass it to you when I get home.”

It was a start.

~세렌디피티~

The relationship between the brothers evolved a little more, they started to talk occasionally, about music, — Yugyeom was interested to learn — about sports, the boy liked basketball and soccer and although Jaebeom didn’t understand shit he made an effort to learn also and sometimes about the future. They hadn’t yet talked about their father or the relationship the younger had with his mother's family. And as for his mother, the boy had charmed her with his full cheeks and his timid manner. Jaebeom thought for a moment that his mother wouldn’t like Yugyeom very much because he was the son of her deceased ex-husband, but quite the contrary, the elder treated him as she treated Jaebeom, as a son and spoiled him with many presents, making him feel a bit jealous.

The summer was over and classes began without much fanfare, Jaebeom took Yugyeom to school every day, leaving him there at seven o'clock and would be either back to JYP or home to his personal studio to work, and then came back on his way to pick him up at four pm. On Tuesdays and Fridays he would take the kid to the psychologist, and always at the end of the consultations they would stop at an ice cream parlor on the way home, it was a new routine and Jaebeom thought he could get used to it.

And it was all going well, the day had begun like any other, he took his brother to school, returned home and lay down on his couch while he finished reading a book in the company of his cats who only remembered of his existence when the youngest Lim wasn’t at home, after lunch he waited for Jinyoung to arrive to finish a song together, an OST for a drama, everything was perfect as always. Jaebeom just wasn’t expecting so early to have a call from Yugyeom’s school. In fact, he shouldn’t even be expecting this kind of thing, but the boy was his brother, and the DNA was strong, he wouldn’t be a Lim if he didn’t mess around.

So, at the end of the day, as soon as classes were over he was there. It had been a long time since he had been there, but the building was still the same, he walked down the hallways and stopped in the hall before the boardroom contemplating the mural with photos of the past classes who studied there and smiled when he met his class and found himself together with Jinyoung between the youthful faces and ready for high school, at that time Jaebeom was a troublemaker.

Jaebeom went on his way and the secretary led him to the teacher’s room where he would meet the teacher in charge of his brother’s class. As soon as he reached the glass door he saw Yugyeom sitting at a table, his head lowered and he seemed to listen carefully to what the man in front of him was saying, Jaebeom couldn’t see the actual professor there, but he looked like someone excited by the way he was gesturing. Jaebeom knocked on the door to get their attention on the inside and received a quiet smile from a young man probably his age, small eyes and cute cheeks and for a second he was distracted by the appearance of the other. I wasn’t expecting someone so young.

“Mr. Lim?” He asked, and Jaebeon nodded, holding out his hand for him to hold cordially.

“Nice to meet you. I am Choi Youngjae, Yugyeom’s teacher.”

“Pleased to meet you.” Jaebeom murmured, looking in the direction of his brother who looked away from him when he realized he was staring. Youngjae gestured to the chair next to the younger one and he sat down.

“Well, Mr. Lim.”

“Jaebeom. Call me Jaebeom, Mr. Lim makes me look like an old man.”

He said, what made the other laugh.

“Okay, Jaebeom-ssi. Yugyeom is a great student, smart and helpful, generally I would have no complaints to make about him, sincerely if this subject hadn’t been witnessed by many people I wouldn’t even have called you.”

Youngjae smiled sweetly at the youngest Lim, and Jaebeom thought it was cute, if there had ever been someone who looked at him like that, he might not have done so much shit at school.

“What did he do?”

“He beat two classmates and...”

“But it was self-defense!”

Yugyeom interrupted the teacher who didn’t seem to care, making him question whether the man in his life ever got angry, it was not possible. Jaebeom just glanced at the younger, and he got silent.

Youngjae talked in a quiet but firm manner.

“Are you suffering from bullying? Why didn’t you tell me?”

He asked his brother that just shook his head in a negative answer as he looked at his shoes as usual and Jaebeom was already rehearsing the conversation they would have to have when they left.

“The boys were suspended, and Yugyeom will be staying every day after classes in detention for two weeks with me.”

Youngjae informed him and he nodded, signing the term of responsibility for his youngest acts. Jaebeom got up as Youngjae did so and Yugyeom didn’t even wait for permission and then left the room leaving the two adults alone.

“Jaebeom-ssi. He's a good boy, they weren’t bullying him but another student, but you should talk to him about anger management and well, your brother is good fighter, did you know? Very good indeed.”

Jaebeom watched Youngjae for a few seconds, his charm were all in the eye-smile and the moles spread across his face and neck that made him wonder how many others he should have spread through his body, but soon he recovered when he felt his cheeks warm for thinking indecencies with his brother's teacher, didn’t even knew the guy.

“Oh, I will. Thank you very much Mr. Choi and...”

“Youngjae. You can call me Youngjae.”

The other smiled and Jaebeom tried to smile back without appearing constipated, he was too handsome.

“Thank you and I apologize for this, Youngjae-ssi.”

Jaebeom was angry and if it was another time, if Yugyeom had entered his life before life fucked him over, he would have already taken a scolding with several shouts and maybe some beating. But Jaebeom was a different man, especially, he was an adult, and he knew better to let his head cool than to say something rashly. He drove in silence and didn’t dare look into the younger’s face, his jaw was aching with so much pressure and he had already breathed deeply several times. Not far from home he stopped at the ice cream shop that they always went at psychologist's day, and Yugyeom followed him, head down, sitting at the table they always occupied while he was ordering, strawberry ice cream for himself and chocolate for the kid.

“I'm grounded?” Yugyeom asked as soon as Jaebeom placed the ice cream pot in front of him and sat down. He had his puppy eyes on, and for a change they were full of tears, Jaebeom caught himself sighing and rolling his eyes.

“Should you?”

“Well, I fought at school, my mother would have beaten me up.”

“Do you want me to beat you?” Jaebeom asked taking his eyes off his ice cream to face Yugyeom who was looking at him with wide-eyed fearfully. “I will not beat you, Yugyeom. What you did wasn’t right, you know that, I will not punish you without you telling me what exactly happened, without lying. There, we can both decide an appropriate punishment. I don’t like lies, and I think we should be honest with each other, I promise never lie to you if you promise me the same, how about it?”

Jaebeom wasn’t a father, and he didn’t know how to act in such a situation, but he knew that if he was in Yugyeom’s place, that was how he wanted to be treated, not with shouts and curses, let alone spanking. He didn’t want him to have what he had received at his age, not that it was a bad thing, after all, if it weren’t for his mother's scolding he wouldn’t be half of the man he was.

“Fine.”

“Okay. Now tell me.”

“There’s this kid in my class who is very cool, he is everyone's friend, everyone knows him at school and most of his close friends are girls....”

“Do the other boys feel threatened by him?”

He interrupted the other who shook his head.

“It's not like that. He is gay, self-assured and not afraid to show who he is and some idiots not accept it. Nobody should hide who they really are, we live in a free country, we should all be free, the point is, I sit on the back next to the assholes and I heard them combining to get this kid in the bathroom and I just couldn’t stand still without do something, you know?”

“You could have called the teachers.”

“It is true. But at the time I did not think. This is unfair! They bully you just because you are different when there's no one like anyone else! We are all different at certain levels.”

Jaebeom was silent just staring at the boy in front of him, he didn’t think anyone so young was so aware of the world, at age twelve Jaebeom just wanted to spend his time playing video game and didn’t give a shit about other people. He had to thank the heavens for Yugyeom not being like him in that regard. He stood for a moment in silence, just tasting his ice cream and assessing the situation, while Yugyeom stirred the spoon in his ice cream that was probably already melted.

“The verdict is that I will not punish you, but that does not mean that what you did was right.”

Jaebeom finally spoke, what made the younger Lim practically jump in his chair, bowing in thanks.

“Thank you, hyung.” That was the first time Yugyeom treated him like hyung, and Jaebeom felt very happy. “I promise that next time I will not think with my fists and use my brain.”

“That’s no next time, asshole.”

Jaebeom murmured with a smile and instinctively ran his hand over Yugyeom's fluffy hair, for a second they both tensed, but the younger one soon smiled and Jaebeom grinned even wider.

“So, are you grounded?” Jinyoung asked as soon as Jaebeom and Yugyeom went through the door leaving their shoes in the entrance. As soon as Yugyeom got close enough Jinyoung held him in an arm lock, his right arm around his neck, and the two began to pretend to fight in the middle of his livingroom. Jaebeom, just turned away from them, rolling his eyes and heading to the kitchen.

“No, he didn’t ground me.”

The younger smiled in a sly way, and Jinyoung rolled his eyes and let him go, watching the boy walk down the hall to his bedroom and turned to the older Lim with a mock expression.

“Hyung is too soft.”

Jaebeom threatened to throw the glass with water at his best friend who showed him his tongue, a very adult attitude.

“It was self-defense. Did you finish the song?”

“Of course.”

Jinyoung said and they both went to the older man's personal studio.

~세렌디피티~

For two weeks Jaebeom went to Yugyeom’s school after the time to pick him up from his _"moment of reflection with Mr. Choi",_ during these two weeks Jaebeom watched from afar Youngjae and felt a warm sensation inside him when he saw the teacher interacting with his brother and especially when he smiled at him. That kind of smile that had the power to heal any illness, all the pains of the soul, all the pains of the world. If the sun were to have a human personification, it would be called Choi Youngjae.

And if there was one thing that Lim Jaebeom could not help being when he was near him, was being clumsy and shy. He could barely speak without stammering, could barely walk without stumbling over nonexistent obstacles; it was the pure effect Youngjae had on him. And as much as he felt ashamed, Jaebeom loved this effect. And so, perhaps, Jaebeom anticipated the mornings when he had to wake up early and take Yugyeom to school. Even if he ended up in a terrible mood and an unbearable teenager on his heels, he faced all this just to see Youngjae from far away in the parking lot.

“For God’s sake! Don’t hit anyone else today.” Jaebeom spoke as soon as he stopped the car at the school entrance as every morning, making Yugyeom groan.

“Hyung tells me this every day!” The boy said exasperated getting out of the car and slamming the door, Jaebeom laughed and stood there watching his kid until his black hair disappeared through the main entrance.

A knock on the glass beside frightened him a little and he turned to find Youngjae on the other side, as always smiling and handsome, and Jaebeom had no idea how anyone could be in such good shape and good mood in the morning while he was wearing his pajama bottom with bart simpson print and his worn shirt with the snoop dogg's face on it, _for God's sake!_

“Good morning, Jaebeom-ssi!” Youngjae spoke all smiles practically jumping and Jaebeom didn’t find it annoying as he would if it were someone else, like Jackson.

“Good morning, Youngjae-ssi.”

He smiled at the same level of excitement as the other, which was inevitable.

“Can we talk?” Youngjae asked as he leaned out the window and Jaebeom found himself voiceless with the suggestion, already imagining a thousand ways to kill Lim Yugyeom, he could only have done shit “There's a coffee shop nearby, how about it?”

Jaebeom looked at his pajamas and then at Youngjae and his eyes wide and hopeful and he urgently needed to treat his habit of not being able to resist cute things and sighed in defeat, definitely he wouldn’t be able to say no.

“Sure, get in here.” He spoke mortified on the inside, but Youngjae didn’t even seem to notice his clothes and if he noticed he didn’t demonstrate, indicating the way they should go.

The coffee shop was small, it had many flowers and plants suspended by its walls and windows, witha rustic architecture resembling a country house, and among the tables were bookshelves with varied literatures. Jaebeom as an assiduous reader immediately loved the environment and found it absurd that he himself had no knowledge of the place. Youngjae said he spent most of his time there, and Jaebeom had already put it on his list of good places to write.

“How are the things at home, with Yugyeom?”

Youngjae asked between a sip of his coffee. How were the thing with Yugyeom? Apparently well, although in a conversation with his psychologist she had told him that the two should talk more, that the boy kept too much inside of him, but Jaebeom had no idea how to start. He sighed, running his hands through his hair.

“Well, I think. He still talks a little to me, but he talks a lot with Jinyoung my best friend and I know that he exchanges messages with Jackson, but I do not know how they got at this stage since they only met once.”

“Jackson?”

“Jackson Wang, have you heard of it?” Youngjae's eyes widened, and Jaebeom laughed at the other's surprised expression. “I work in the same company as him, I do music.”

“Oh, so I must have listened to your songs on the radio, maybe?”

“Probably.” Jaebeom said smiling, and Youngjae leaned across the table.

“I'll love to hear, could you show me at our next date?”

Choi murmured and Jaebeom was tempted to show him his SoundCloud account right there, but he restrained himself, but he also refrained from smiling like a maniac at the prospect of meeting Youngjae again in a date. And how come another date? Does that mean that what they were having at that very moment was one?

“But what I really want to know is if you like video games.”

“Video games?” Jaebeon stared at him in confusion.

“Yeah, like league of legends, fortnite, FIFA, these things?”

“These first two I have no idea what is about, but FIFA is cool, I used to play when I was younger, why?”

“Great!”

Youngjae smiled but didn’t elaborate more than that and soon Jaebeom found himself involved in a conversation about college and discovered that Youngjae was actually younger than himself and that this was his first job in fact without being an internship, and that he was preparing for a master's degree in music therapy and then the two found themselves engaged in a conversation about music and how it can heal the soul and Jaebeom has never felt so alive in a morning. 

~세렌디피티~

Yugyeom was like a shadow. Wherever he was going the youngest was behind him. At first Jaebeom didn’t care, but after a while it was a little uncomfortable to have that presence on his back without saying anything, just watching him.

“You need anything?” He asked, drawing his attention from the book he was reading, to look at the boy sitting next to him.

For a moment Yugyeom was silent, only caressing Nora's on his lap.

“Hyung wants to play FIFA with me?”

He spoke so softly, if they hadn’t been sitting so close to each other he would not have listened. Jaebeom fought the urge to smile before replying.

“Oh, of course!”

Yugyeom jumped off the couch excitedly as he heard his answer rushing up to the TV. Jaebeom had something else to thank Choi Youngjae for.

~세렌디피티~

He stopped the car in the parking lot and unlike the other days he didn’t went inside the main building of the school and instead to the back, Yugyeom had told him that he would be doing an outdoor activity with Mr. Choi. Jaebeom followed to the soccer field and soon found the other two near a bar, Youngjae served as a goalkeeper while Yugyeom acted as a striker.

When he noticed, he had a silly grin on his face and could hear the voice of his subconscious that sounded just like Jinyoung, telling him that he was being a fool and that he didn’t have a little crush on Youngjae, but the whole Niagara Falls. He thought it was ridiculous. He was in love with his brother's teacher, could be more cliché than that?

“Jaebeom-ssi! Want to play?” Youngjae asked, approaching, and Jaebeom smiled uneasily, shaking his head.

“Oh, I'm not very good.”

He said shaking his hands.

“Neither am I, but I think you should play.”

Youngjae gave him a look and Jaebeom realized what he was doing, at a safe distance Yugyeom looked at them with curiosity, that would be the perfect time to get more involved with the kid. Jaebeom then smiled at Choi and headed into the field.

They played until the spotlights around the field were lit and indicating that was already too late. The sky had already taken on its tone of dark blue and the first stars were already shining in the sky. Yugyeom looked happy, his hair tied in a cute ponytail made by his brother on the top of his head, his uniform was filthy, but Jaebeom didn’t care, he would have a hell of a job to get those blemishes off his khaki pants and white shirt, but he was satisfied to watch the boy run through the parking lot kicking the soccer ball toward the car. He was right behind with Youngjae, holding his brother's backpack and enjoying the other's silent company. It was good.

“Here I leave you.” Youngjae said as Jaebeom unlocked his SUV and handed the backpack to Yugyeom for the youngest to enter the vehicle. He turned to the Choi with a frown.

“We'll give you a ride.” Jaebeom said, stopping by door and opening it, waiting for Choi to enter.

“Oh, You don’t have to, I live close by.”

“Still, let's go Youngjae-ah, hyung takes you.”

Jaebeom was surprised at what he had said and the expression on Youngjae's face was also surprised. They hadn‘t created enough intimacy to be so casual and yet it seemed so natural.

“Okay, then.”

He really lived close as he'd said. However, the whole path that had held some kind of conversation was Yugyeom and Youngjae, they talked about a trip that the yugyeom class would do to the coast. While Jaebeom could only pay attention to the road and cast occasional glances toward the man at his side. Perhaps, Youngjae caught him looking with interest at his already thick thighs, but they grew even thicker when he sat, perhaps his hands touched when they both decided to regulate the air and Jaebeom noticed Youngjae's fingers linger longer than necessary against his.

“I live there in that.” Youngjae pointed to a gatehouse just ahead of the stop sign and Jaebeom parked in the front as soon as possible. “So, thank you Jaebeom hyung for the ride.”

“It was nothing.”

Jaebeon answered and for a few moments they stood staring at each other, in sudden embarrassment, should they embrace? Shake hands? Jaebeom wanted to do that and kiss his cheeks, but the moment was soon lost when Youngjae opened the door and got out of the car.

“See you tomorrow Yugyeom!”

He waved at the kid who waved back to the teacher.

“You two are ridiculous.”

Yugyeom murmured after they were almost home. Jaebeom stared at him in the rearview mirror without understanding.

“What do you mean, stupid?”

“I just know that I could feel the sexual tension in the air.”

Yugyeom mumbled, putting the earphones into his ear while his brother stared at him open-mouthed.

“YAH! Who taught you these things? It was Jinyoung, uh?! Yah Lim Yugyeom!!”

~세렌디피티~

“Yugyeom? Hyung will not be able to pick you up at school today, okay, I'm going to be stuck here at the company, I'll probably be home late. So get an uber okay? You can use that card hyung gave you, buy dinner too, okay?”

Jaebeom spoke up on the phone, it was already four o'clock in the afternoon and he could bet the kid was waiting for him. He and the other producers had an insane dead line, the CEO himself had summoned them, the album they were working for was the company's big group. And since he had become a full-time kind of dad, Jaebeom was having difficulty reconciling his job and the boy. And it was his own fault, he felt that even with the new responsibility he would continue to deal with the large-scale music he produced before he had to worry about anyone else.

_“It's okay.”_

Yugyeom murmured softly over the cries of other children around him, but still audible.

“Okay, see you later!”

Jaebeom came home after midnight. He found the apartment quiet and dark. He was greeted by his feline children and took a few seconds to pet them and fill them with kisses. Since he had "adopted" Yugyeom, he had not spent a day at work, not even spent hours locked in his studio, as he had in the past. Before Yugyeom, the Lim spent days at work, ate badly, slept little, sometimes didn’t even see the daylight. His brother had come to change him completely, to mess up his routine, and when he thought he would hate, he ended up loving it. Nora followed him down the corridor to the bedrooms, it was past Yugyeom's bed time, but if he was not careful, the boy would end up playing all night, and they had also created a habit, Jaebeom always went to his room to wish him good night.

The door to the Yugyeom's room was open, and the window too, Jaebeom felt his heart skip a beat when he saw the empty bed, tidied up just as he'd left it in the morning. He ran to the window — for a sudden moment he thought of some bullshit, and breathed in relief when he found nothing outside closing it and headed for his bedroom — sometimes Yugyeom sought comfort in his double bed — opening the door and not finding him there, he did the same thing with the bathroom, with his studio, all the places were empty, in the apartment there was no trace of Lim Yugyeom.

The worst thoughts filled his mind with guilt as he tried unsuccessfully to call his brother, but his phone did not even call, the call going straight to the voicemail. He shouldn't have stayed at work, he shouldn't have left him alone, he shouldn't ... he shouldn't so many things. Jaebeom was shaking from head to toe, he felt the salty taste of her tears, her desperate legs took him to the middle of the street, walking not knowing where, looking in every alley, every corner, everywhere where possibly a teenager could hide. Because it was clear that Yugyeom was hiding, he had to be hidden, no one would have taken him, Jaebeom prayed that not.

The telephone on the other end of the line called for some time, and a groggy, sleepy voice answered him, and for a few seconds Jaebeom could only cry, unable to speak. He just wanted to find Yugyeom, but he had no idea where.

_“Jaebeom? Hyung, I can’t understand you, take a deep breath, just like that, now tell me."_

“Yu-yugyeom dis-disappeared, Jae-ah. I got home and he was not there and... I don’t know what to do I lost my brother.”

_I lost my brother. I lost my brother._ And it looked liked he just realized that. Lim Jaebeom had lost what he never wished to have, but now he couldn’t live without.

_"Where are you now?"_

“In front of the school.”

_"Okay. Don’t leave, I'm coming, we'll find him, hyung"_

“Jaebeom!”

Youngjae shouted, and Jaebeon got up from the curb to which he was sitting. A light rain fell, and the sky occasionally shone with strong lightning flashes and thunder. There would be a storm and his boy was lost. He had asked for the help of everyone he knew, and everyone went out to help in some way, be it with posts on social media, searching the streets as he was doing. Youngjae stopped in front of him and the first thing he did was hug him and Jaebeom found himself crying again, seeking some comfort in those arms and warm embrace.

“The police cannot do anything!” You have a lost child and they can’t do anything because it has not been twenty-four hours yet!

He told the younger man that nodded. Youngjae held his hands, trying to comfort him.

“Hey, we'll find him. I spoke with Bambam and he told me that the two left school and went to the arcade near here, from there they went to eat an ice cream and then they left paths, each one going home.”

Who was Bambam? Jaebeom didn’t even knew the younger Lim had made friends.

Youngjae spoke calmly, nor did it seem that something very serious was happening. And that was what Jaebeom needed at the moment for some reasoning, since he could not think of anything but to find his brother.

“Let's start there. Is there somewhere you like to go? Somewhere that Yugyeom mentioned? That he likes it?”

“He doesn’t know anything around here.” He murmured, trying to get the places they always went together in his mind. “In my mind the most likely place a child could be is a park, or an arcade.”

“Let's look at these places, okay?” The younger one said. “Hey.” Youngjae took his face in his hands, and with his thumb wiped away the traces of tears on his cheeks. “We will find him.”

They didn’t find it in the obvious places, they found no trace of Yugyeom in the places where Bambam had said they liked to go in class breaks. Jaebeom was desperate, what could he do? Where could Yugyeom be? He always knew that he wasn’t ready to be 'father', to be responsible for someone, when he wasn’t even even responsible for himself. _For God's sake!_

And Yugyeom ... where could he have gone? He knew nothing in Seoul, had never traveled far when his mother was alive, and he doubted he remembered the places where they went when he was small.

“If I were a kid alone, in a place I don’t know where I'd go?”

Jaebeom asked Youngjae that he couldn’t answer. It was raining, and it was very cold. Lim and Choi were not wearing enough clothes, and Yugyeom much less, he had left home in school uniform and a hoodie.

“If it was me, maybe I'd go to the bus station, you know, living so long in your city and having to move to another, I'd miss it.”

Youngjae spoke and Jaebeon did not wait twice and ran out in the rain. At the bus station, it was obvious he could only be there.

It was closed. After running for a few miles Jaebeom had been reached by Youngjae inside a car and then he realized that he would never get to the bus station on foot. Youngjae stepped on the gas, perhaps breaking some traffic laws on the way. The bus station was closed and the security guard assured them that no twelve-year-old boy was around, maybe he had taken the bus, the last one to Daegu had left at ten at night. But how had them not seen a child alone? Minors could not travel alone, right?

Jaebeom ignored Youngjae's screams to stay inside the car and started walking in the rain that fell mercilessly from the sky, totally without knowing where to go. He no longer knew what rain was and what were his tears, he just wanted to find his brother. His feet eventually led him to a playground, it was a square, not far from the bus station, an empty, crumbling place that did not seem to be much visited, at least not by good people.

His eyes looked through the dimly lit place stopping in a slide at the very end, from where he was, he couldn't see well, but there at the top, looked like a person sitting, too small to be an adult and big to be a very young child, but the ideal size to be a twelve years old boy too tall for his age.

Jaebeom found himself running there, and when he reached a reasonable distance he was sure that he was his boy.

“YUGYEOM!” He shouted, catching the attention of the other person who lifted his head from between his legs and Jaebeom felt his heart tighten, it was his boy there. All wet, his face red from crying, shivering with cold. Jaebeom did not hesitate and climbed up to sit next to the younger, Yugyeom's lips were turning blue, his fingers were all red, how long had his little one been in the rain, in the cold?

“It's ok. I got you, baby” Jaebeom whispered against the kid's ear, hugging him tightly, trying to get him a little warm, even though it might be a bit pointless since it was raining heavily and they were both drenched.

“I-I'm sorry, hyung.” Yugyeom murmured against his shirt. He was shaking so much, his teeth grinding.

“It's ok. hyung is the one who feels sorry, I should have been better.”

Jaebeom spoke and Yugyeom shook his head. The older man pulled him back, pulling the wet hair from his face.

“I miss my mother hyung, and I feel bad because I forgot her. I thought I would hate to be here with you, but I loved, I thought you would hate me and send me back, you would send me to an orphanage, because I'm not a good kid hyung, I'm a bad person. Because I forgot my mother, I was glad that her death made me know you, but I'm so bad hyung, I didn't want her dead, but then I wouldn't be with you and ... and ... I hate myself hyung, I don't deserve live with you. But I don't want to be away from you, I don't want to be alone again, I don't have anyone else.”

He was crying so hard, it was heart-wrenching.

“Lim Yugyeom, you're not a bad person. And I'm sorry you've felt it all alone, but I love you so much Yugyeom, so much. I don't deserve you. And I promise, look at me.” Jaebeom asked, causing the boy to lift his head and face him. “I, Lim Jaebeom, will never leave you, I promise.” Jaebeom held out his pinky in the direction of the younger, who looked for a moment, still crying a lot, but without hesitation he wrapped his little pinky against the elder's, sealing the promise made.

Jaebeom smiled and pulled the boy into his lap, holding him tight. He wanted to have the power to take away all the pain, all the anguish inside his brother, just with a touch, with a hug. The rain did not bother him anymore, and Jaebeom just held his boy tight until he got tired and stopped crying. Until he no longer had the strength to cry and fight. Youngjae found them after a while and with his help, he carried the youngest in his arms to the car, so they could finally go home.

At home, Jaebeom took Yugyeom to his bedroom, carefully removed his wet clothes and tossed them into the laundry basket and dressed him in his clean pajamas. He pulled back the blankets and pillows as he held the child's weight with one hand until he was securely under the duvet.

“I'm sorry.” He heard the whisper so quietly that if he had not been sitting next to the younger one he would not have heard. Jaebeom sighed as he went to the bedroom door, turning off the light and returning to the bed. He sat down next to his brother, rubbing his hands in his hair affectionately.

“It's okay, we'll talk tomorrow, uh.”

“Sorry for being a waste of space, hyung.” Yugyeom murmured with tears returning to wet his face and Jaebeom just held him tight against his chest.

He couldn't say anything, his only thought was to convey affection and comfort to the younger, caressing his hair and holding him tight until the tears stopped. When he finally fell asleep, the weight of it all fell upon Jaebeom. And to think that in less than a year the boy who until then was a stranger became one of the most important people if not the most important in his life hit him in fully. Jaebeom wondered what might have happened to Yugyeom when he left alone, and if he had gotten into an accident? What if he had hurt himself, died? And to think about it hurt him, couldn't imagine a life without him. He had been so terrified to lose it. His thoughts crashed like waves of a tsunami and he couldn't contain himself and let tears stream down his face, he wiped them away with anger, but they were insistent, and Jaebeom just left them and hugged the sleeping boy tighter still. And he ended up crying until he fell asleep.

In the morning Jaebeom woke up first, he softly slipped out of his room, his spine hurting horrors, because he had slept in a half-sitting position, half-lying down, and his brother's bed was too small for both of them. He did all his morning routine and headed to the kitchen, fed his impatient children, and began to prepare breakfast for himself and the youngest.

Yugyeom appeared in the kitchen moments later, his eyes swollen from crying, his hair disheveled, face crumpled with marks from the texture of his older brother's sweater.

“Hungry?” He asked his brother who shook his head in affirmative, then placed a plate of toast with fried eggs in front of him and orange juice.

“Are you angry?”

Yugyeom asked quietly, not daring to face him.

“I thought I'd lose you, Yugyeom.”

“I’m sorry. I will not do this anymore.”

Jaebeom sighed and his brother finally faced him. He looked ready for another crying session and if he cried, Jaebeom would end up crying too.

“Good. I just want you to answer me honestly, are you happy here, Yugyeom?”

He asked his brother and Yugyeom looked at the plate, his hands playing with a piece of toast.

“Yes” he said softly, sounding conflicted. “It's just that I'm not good with words, at expressing my feelings.” Jaebeom smiled, the boy was very much like him. “I... maybe, I wasn't expecting this, you know? I felt guilty, you know? For a moment I forgot my mother, but I didn't want to forget her hyung. I miss my mother so much that it hurts here in my chest.” Some tears escaped his eyes, but he was quick to wip them “I thought hyung hated me, I ruined your life coming here, you didn't even knew I existed and .. and I was afraid, hyung. And I don't want to lose you too.”

Jaebeom went around the table and stopped in front of his boy, he carefully took his face in his hands wiping his tears.

“Yugyeom, never, in any second, I thought that you have ruined my life, because it is not true.” He looked straight into the boy's eyes as he spoke. “I love you. You are my little brother, because of you my apartment is no longer empty, you brought life to a guy who just wanted to know about work, you made me meet Youngjae. Before you I was a reclusive guy, too shy, who didn't leave the house, only if he was dragged by Jinyoung. You, Lim Yugyeom, made my life so much better.”

Jaebeom wiped away a few more tears and kissed the boy's forehead and wrapped him in a hug.

“Hyung will not send me to an orphanage, will you?”

Jaebeom laughed, squeezing the boy.

“No! I love you too much to that, Gyeomie.”

“I love you too, hyung.”

~세렌디피티~

The things went on as they should. Jaebeom realized that he should relieve himself at work and divide his attention equally between work and his brother. Yugyeom started to open up, he didn't keep things to himself, sometimes he became quiet, he stayed in his corner, listening to music and in the company of his notebook that Jaebeom had bought for him to keep his secrets, but never again ran away. Consultations with the psychologist continued, and the Lim continued to live to the extent possible. But now each one more aware of the other.

~세렌디피티~

Following Youngjae's advice, Jaebeom decided to take Yugyeom back to the city where he was born and raised. Choi had told him that it would be good for the kid to come back and say goodbye properly to his mother, say goodbye to what he lost, that it would be best for his brother, and help him cope with the loss of his mother. Jaebeom just hoped so, he did not intend to replace what Yugyeom's mother was to him, he just wanted to be a good brother, someone that Yugyeom could count on forever.

The car ride was all done with an overactive child in the passenger seat. In two hours, Yugyeom sang along with his favorite singers, played on the cell phone, asked Jaebeom a lot of questions about his work, and about the other hyungs, but as soon as they entered the neighborhood where he lived, everything disappeared. The smile, the lightness that surrounded them. He was quiet, his eyes lost in the landscape that passed them as they followed the road, until finally they stopped.

Jaebeom held Yugyeom's hand as they walked through the tombs and memorials in the graveyard. That was his third time there and it should have been the third of Yugyeom's too if he hadn’t the brilliant idea of stopping his brother from going to his mother's cremation. At the time, he did not know that it could disrupt his brother's mourning and become a trauma, but now with Youngjae's explanation and a conversation with his brother's psychologist he knew he shouldn’t have deprived him of it.

They arrived at the Lim memorial and inside the antechamber there was no one visiting the other altars and felt relieved by their privacy. Jaebeom led them to the end of the room, to stand in front of a small altar that had the urns with the ashes of his father and Yugyeom's mother, a picture of the two smiling, hugging, was laying right in the middle of the two objects.

Jaebeom let go of the Yugyeom's hand and walked away, giving him privacy while his brother placed a small bouquet of forget-me-not that they had brought to the altar and knelt before it. Jaebeom even tried not to pay attention to what his brother said softly, but it wasn't easy, the place was small and echoed well and also he couldn't leave and let his little brother there alone, then he stayed in his place. For a moment the youngest just stood there, his eyes fixed on the frame that contained the photo. It was an old picture, from the times where his father was still alive and healthy, Jaebeom saw there that Yugyeom was the perfect blend between his parents while he was the perfect copy of his mother.

“Hi Mommy and Dad, I miss you. I miss you so much, I wanted a hug.” He sniffed and Jaebeon took a deep breath, from where he was he couldn't see Yugyeom's face, but he knew it wouldn't be long to he began to cry. “Hyung is so cool, at first I thought he didn't like me, you know, he has this serious face and he seems to be always angry, and he almost didn't talk to me either, but then Jinyoung hyung told me hyung is really silly and very shy, and he looks like a grandpa.” Jaebeom rolled his eyes and bit his lip not to laugh, he was only twenty-five, he was too young to be a grandpa. “I miss you, but I'm happy with hyung. But Mom I want your hug, I wish I had hugged you. I...” His little brother sobbed and Jaebeon saw him rub his hands and arm over his face to wipe away tears, and Jaebeom tried not to cry too, a child should not shed any tears for longing or loss of someone dear. “I, I wish you to look after me and my hyung too, Mr. Choi said that when you go to heaven you become a guardian angel to whom you leave behind, so Mommy I want to ask you to protect Jaebeom hyung too.”

Jaebeom could not bear to stand still and sat down next to his brother who did not take long to throw himself in his arms and he welcomed Yugyeom in a tight embrace caressing his back. Jaebeom tried to put himself in his brother's shoes, put himself in the shoes of someone who lost his mother, imagined himself at the same age and could not see how the Yugyeom was holding out. His brother was a warrior, a strong boy for his age, Jaebeom only had to learn from him.

“JiAe.” Jaebeom said quietly, staring at the photo and holding his brother even tighter. “I know I wasn't a good step-son, I know you were not to blame for my father to be as he was and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that only after I became an adult did I realized how unfair I was to you and how I regret now that I wasn't your friend and did not see my brother growing up.” He looked down and kissed the top of the child's head and sighed. “It took a tragedy to me to realize that I was never really alone, you know? But I really want to thank you. Thank you for giving me a brother, and I promise that I will take care of Yugyeom with all the love and affection in the world and that I will protect him with my life. Thank you very much, and I'm sorry.”

~세렌디피티~

“I was thinking, how about we go to the beach this weekend?” Jaebeom asked as he pushed the shopping cart with his brother by his side, Yugyeom had been responsible for the list and did not take his eyes off the paper unless it was to take what was written, and it had to be in the order listed, he had already made both of them pass the same hall several times.

“Can I call Bambam? Can he go with us?”

Yugyeom looked at him with begging eyes and Jaebeom sighed.

“Who's Bambam?”

“My friend, he's actually my best friend in the whole world!”

Yugyeom spoke smiling, his cute little smile, which made the older one laugh with his childish logic, it would have been six months since Yugyeom was living with him and he had already found a friend for life. _Kids_.

“Okay, but can I take a person too?”

“Mr. Choi?”

Yugyeom asked and the older man nodded.

“Of course, hyung!”

Youngjae loved the idea which made Jaebeom grateful and relieved, he wanted to be able to spend more time with the younger one. A time away from his brother's school ground or surroundings. He wanted to be able to talk more with Youngjae, except for the text messages the share and calls where they spent the night talking. With Youngjae, he didn't need to be restrained, he didn't need to think before he spoke, he wasn't afraid that his senseless ramblings would be ignored or labeled boring. With the youngest, they could talk about everything, from the purpose of life on earth to why it was outrageous to put ketchup on pizza, there were no awkward silences, no strangeness, and Jaebeom loved it. Youngjae was responsible for convincing Bambam's mother to let the boy go with them, which was easy, he was also responsible to met them at the bus station, since Jaebeom wouldn't risk driving so far, especially because wanted to have fun without worrying about the level of alcohol in his body and sleep.

As soon as they arrived at the beach the boys ran off leaving their backpacks and clothes on the sand for the adults to pick up and set up the "camp" alone. Many families had the same idea as them and the sand was filled with children, some playing ball, others building their sand castles. Youngjae spread a large towel over the hot sand, and Jaebeon set up a sunshade to provide at least a shadow. It was not long before Yugyeom and Bambam hurried back to where they were, both drenched, wanting to wet Choi and Lim.

“Cold.” Yugyeom whimpered and shuddered, and Jaebeom rolled his eyes and threw a towel over his head.

“Dry yourself to put on some sunscreen.” He waited for the youngest to do as he was told, and after doing so, he passed a good quantity of the product on his brother's back, arms and face. “There you go.”

“Yug you look like a ghost”, Bambam laughed at his friend, but then the laughter died as he crossed his gaze with the older Lim.

“You too, grasshopper, come here.”

The boy obeyed reluctantly and he repeated his actions. Once well protected, Jaebeom watched the boys run back, Bambam now with a soccer ball under his arm, towards the water.

“Can you pass sunscreen on me too?”

Youngjae's voice drew his attention back to the younger one, and Jaebeom took a deep breath as he watched him take off his shirt, leaving his white skin visible. Jaebeom knelt behind Choi on the beach towel and with his hands a little shaken, he spread the sunscreen on the other's skin very slowly, his digits wandering the countless moles that Youngjae had scattered throughout his body. Youngjae's skin on his palm was warm and soft and Jaebeom found himself tempted to hold firmly, imagining what it would be like to trace all those little moles with his tongue. But soon he took the thought away from the younger and Youngjae finished putting the sunscreen on his arms and torso alone. And then he turned to Jaebeom with a smile on his lips.

“Can hyung help me get sunscreen on my face, too?”

Jaebeom was lost in words and just nodded, approaching Youngjae. The sun seemed to be somehow affecting his brain, it was too hot that was a fact, but not to the point of leaving him with his head spinning as he was at the moment. His fingers trembled too much, but he managed to pass the sunscreen on the youngjae's face, his fingers sliding over his cheekbones and Jaebeom found himself staring at his lips, he wanted to kiss him so badly, that he didn't notice Youngjae had his eyes open, staring up at him, till he looked in his eyes. The mole just below his left eye was a charm.

They were so close that Jaebeon could feel the heat radiating from the other body. Youngjae licked his lips and he followed the movement involuntarily with his eyes, if he leaned just a little bit further, he could finally feel the texture and taste of Youngjae's lips in his, but obviously that wasn't the right time. The two adults were so engrossed in the little world that they didn't see the soccer ball at full speed heading toward them until it hit Jaebeom's forehead and knocked him to the sand.

The older Lim whimpered in pain, listening to the screams of apology from the two brats and the contagious laughter of Choi Youngjae.

At the end of the day they returned to the Lim's apartment, all too tired to do anything else. But Jaebeom felt nervous, with the fact that he was going to sleep with Youngjae, even if he knew they wouldn't anything, maybe just a few kisses. And how he wanted to kiss that cute little mouth, but he wanted to do it without being interrupted by two little shits.

Dinner was pizza and after it was over, he found himself pushing Bambam and Yugyeom into his brother's room, along with the PlayStation and the television that was once in his room. When he returned to the living room, he found Youngjae sitting on the floor, his back against the couch, a glass of wine against his lips and he looked so beautiful wearing a blue polka-dot pajamas, his brown hair still damp from the shower, in the low light of the room he seemed to glow gold, and that sight, the whole scene seemed to be so ordinary, something as commonplace as if Youngjae belonged there in Jaebeom's apartment.

They did not say anything for a while; they just sat there and watched Nora playin front of them with a little ball of paper that Yugyeom had thrown over early. Jaebeom really wanted to sit closer, maybe put an arm around Youngjae's shoulders, run a hand through his hair and say how breathtaklying beautiful he was all flushed by the chill of his apartment that made his cheeks turn pink. Instead, he straightened his back and cleared his throat.

“Youngjae ...” Jaebeom said quietly, not looking at the younger man, his eyes fixed on his lap.

But he could feel the way Youngjae was looking at him from the corner of his eye. And then he was taken by a sudden burst of courage, Jaebeom turned completely, finally staring at the younger one who also did the same. _It is now or never,_ he thought as he approached Choi, putting his hands on his cheeks, he was ready. But it was Youngjae who closed the distance, meeting his lips. He was a little timid at first, but Jaebeom answered the kiss with enthusiasm. They didn't go far, not with Yugyeom and Bambam under the same roof, but it was cool and comfortable, as if they were made to be like that, cuddling in his living room.

Youngjae and Jaebeom seemed destined.

“Ew!” Yugyeom murmured, startling Jaebeon and Youngjae, both red from being caught by the child. “Bambam!! My brother is making out with Mr. Choi!”

Jaebeom grunted as soon as his brother shouted, running back the way he had come, and Youngjae laughed loudly, bringing his hands to his face, dying of shame.

“I'm sorry.” He murmured blandly, and the smaller boy shook his head, what Jaebeom didn't expect was Youngjae's next move. The younger slowed the distance between them once more and sat on his lap, legs on either side of his body, their torsos glued, hands in his hair and then lips inches from his.

“Kiss me, hyung.”

He asked. And Jaebeon kissed him as if there were no tomorrow.

~세렌디피티~

When he accepted to take care of his younger brother, he did not think that besides becoming practically a father would also win a love. It was not in his plans to like anyone, it was not something on his list of "things to do until the day you die." Jaebeom didn't even remember when it was the last time he'd been in a serious relationship. He was a person who liked casual dating and one-night stands, he liked easy sex and no commitment, he thought he wasn't born to create feelings for someone. You see, the last memory of having loved someone to the point of seeing a future with that person was very distant: he was fifteen years old and Jinyoung was the most beautiful person in his teenage world, at that time he couldn't tell that the love that he felt for his best friend was a love far beyond anything felt by lovers. The second time he fell madly in love, he was twenty years old, and Hyolyn took his sanity with her dark skin and strong personality, an older girl who didn't care what others thought of her. They had a nasty romance, full of ups and downs, until they could no longer follow the same road.

It had been a while, so Jaebeom was definitely not in the prospect of being so charmed by someone to the point of falling in love, to the point of idealizing a future life with that person, and here he was doing just that. Because Youngjae seemed to be what was missing in his life.

~세렌디피티~

Jaebeom was very nervous about the prospect of going out with Youngjae. He would take the youngest to the movies to watch a French musical _les chansons d'amour_, his favorite movie. He hadn't been nervous since high school when he went out with the first girl he intended to date. They had been exchanging frequent text messages and many calls, they had been chatting at night too, the oldest making Youngjae listen to his songs and the younger humming some. Jaebeom discovered that Choi Youngjae's voice was beautiful and became the soothing one he needed when he was feeling stressed, pressed, when he could not sleep, Jaebeom listened the other sing softly at his ear and everything became more bearable.

"Listen, when I get back, I want you both sleeping."

Jaebeom said to the teenagers lying on the floor of his living room, Yugyeom snorted in disdain while Bambam only agreed categorically. The Thai boy had also become a constant in the Lim's life, he was too bold and a troublemaker, but incredibly Jaebeom liked him, especially because he could leave a beautiful smile on his brother's face.

"Why? Will hyung bring Mr. Choi here?"

"It's none of your business." Jaebeom countered, but approached the boy leaving a kiss on his forehead and stroked the hair of Bambam next to him. "I'm serious, Lim Yugyeom!"

Youngjae was already waiting for him in front of his condo when he arrived to pick him up, there was no good lighting, but the headlight of his car allowed him to see how handsome the younger one was. When he got into the car, Jaebeom stopped himself from letting out an exclamation of admiration, the younger boy's dark hair was light, dyed blond, and Jaebeom never thought Youngjae could look even better.

"What is it?" Youngjae asked seeing that Jaebeom said nothing and just stared at him with open mouth "Jaebeom? There's something wrong?"

'You are breathtaking! Even more beautiful! How is it possible?"

He finally spoke and smiled when he saw the younger boy's face turning red. Youngjae put her hands to her slightly shy hair.

"Did you like it?"

"Yeah. But I would even if you had no hair."

Jaebeom answered and leaned as far as his seat belt allowed, leaving a kiss on Choi's cheek.

"Silly. Now turn on that car or we'll be late."

When they reached the local theater and Jaebeom parked the car, Youngjae had been the first one to get out of the car to meet him on the other side. And as soon as Jaebeom went out he smiled.

"Now you can look at me at ease," Youngjae said standing in front of Jaebeom, his hands went to either side of his denim jacket and the older one didn't miss the opportunity. Jaebeom closed the distance between them, grabbing Choi's neck and kissing him sweetly, but soon the bump became a mess, somehow Youngjae's back slammed against the car door and Jaebeom sighed in the kiss, he had missed it, the warmth of the younger, his taste. He had been so scared when he first kissed him, had been afraid to screw things up and do something wrong, Jaebeom had never been good at relationships after all.

"I missed you," Youngjae confessed as they parted their mouths to catch their breath.

"Me too," Jaebeom muttered and added, "A lot."

They kissed a little longer until their fingers stiffened from the cold and their cheeks flushed. “How about we go somewhere else?”

Youngjae suggested and Jaebeom felt hot everywhere, he knew what the younger one was implying with his words and wanted this very much “Let's go to my house?”

Jaebeom didn't wait for him to say it again and they both got back in the car, completely forgetting about the movie and making their way back to Choi's house.

~세렌디피티~

It was funny how in a year and a half his life took a surprising turn. He became a boyfriend, an older brother, a father. Jaebeon became the source of security and the mirror of one, became the love of someone else's life. And all of this had happened unexpectedly.

"Hey, what are you doing out here alone? It's cold!" Youngjae said sitting beside him on the old couch on the balcony and Jaebeom snuggled him against his chest hugging him tightly. He hadn't realized it was so cold until the youngest mentioned and he sought warmth from Youngjae's body. 

"Thinking," he said softly, one hand sliding through Youngjae's light hair, as brought the glass of wine in his hand to his lips, finishing the rest of his drink. "I'm a lucky guy." He completed the reasoning and Youngjae laughed softly and leaned up leaving a kiss on his neck, but Jaebeom soon found himself leaning toward the younger seeking his lips and taking them in a kiss. "I love you."

Youngjae smiled against his mouth and kissed him back even more determinedly and as usual they found themselves lost in each other, totally in love until the balcony door opened a second time and a spoiled brat appeared through it.

"I was alone in there! I hate being alone hyung!"

Yugyeom whimpered and Youngjae laughed as Jaebeom rolled his eyes.

"Come here, big baby." Youngjae called sitting straight on the couch and opening his arms to the younger who didn't hesitate to throw himself in his lap, with half his body on top of Jaebeom and the other half on Youngjae.

He was too big for that, but they couldn't complain, it was rare for children his age to be so affectionate, they just had to enjoy it. With only thirteen years old, Yugyeom was about Youngjae's height, and Jaebeom was kind of threatened because it wouldn't be long before the boy passed him, he wasn't ready to be the older brother who is smaller than the younger one.

"Hyung" Yugyeom cut the silence and Jaebeom looked down to find the brown and childish eyes staring at him "Are you happy?"

Jaebeom was taken aback by the question and smiled. He ran one hand through his brother's black hair and the other squeezed Youngjae's arm, which had laid its head on his shoulder.

"Very, my happiness goes to infinity and beyond." He told his two boys. 

“Good, I love you, hyung” Yugyeom talked softly and like the first time he said it, Jaebeom felt blessed “You too, Youngjae hyung, I love you.”

Jaebeom laughed ruffling his youngest hair as Youngjae pinched his full cheeks making him complain. Youngjae looked at Jaebeom who looked back and it was like falling in love with him all over again.

"I love you," Youngjae whispered softly just for him to hear. And Jaebeom finally felt complete.

He was happy, all three were happy, that was all that mattered.

~세렌디피티~

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on twitter: https://twitter.com/Dimsum_saboroso


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